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    Something I Wrote

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    xxGetFreakyxx

    Number of posts : 1925
    Age : 22
    Location : Long Island, New york

    Something I Wrote

    Post  xxGetFreakyxx on Sat May 08, 2010 2:28 pm

    So I felt inspired and decided to write something. It's not exactly a fan fiction but I could turn it into one if I wanted to but for now it's just something random that I wrote and would like to share with you guys.



    It was a warm, breezy day in May. A day perfect for a picnic or going to the beach. We lay on the soft, green grass and looked at the cloudless, blue sky. He has dark, brown hair that sweeps to the left and ends a little above his ocean colored eyes and his entire face lights up when he smiles. His hand fit perfectly into mine and my head lay gently on his chest and I could feel his chest move calmly as he breathed in the fresh, spring air. Everything was silent except for the soft breeze weaving through the green leaves of the trees and the voices of far away people. He looked down at me and smiled and I couldn’t help but smile back. Everything was perfect.

    I let go of his hand, sat up and looked around the park. I could see little kids swinging on the monkey bars and climbing up the slides, ducks gliding in the pond and people riding their bikes on the black path. I turned around to look at him; he was looking back at me. He sat up and delicately pushed my bangs behind my ear, laced his fingers through mine and kissed me softly. He pulled away slowly, but his face was still close to mine, smiled a little bit, looked into my eyes and whispered “I love you”.


    Thanks for reading it


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    jesserockz4eva

    Number of posts : 143
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    Hobbies : music. dancin'. friends. movies. sports. writing. talking. computer. taking pics/videos.

    Re: Something I Wrote

    Post  jesserockz4eva on Sat May 08, 2010 5:50 pm

    aww this is cute Smile i like the way you write Smile
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    JMacLover09

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    Re: Something I Wrote

    Post  JMacLover09 on Sat May 08, 2010 6:34 pm

    yeah, that was really good. but you might want to check on the present vs. past tense.
    either way, it was really cute. haha =) i think something could come of this.


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    21 years hoppin' in and outta clubs / What would you do in my shoes, you be livin' it up <3

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    xxGetFreakyxx

    Number of posts : 1925
    Age : 22
    Location : Long Island, New york

    Re: Something I Wrote

    Post  xxGetFreakyxx on Sat May 08, 2010 8:29 pm

    thanks(:

    yeah ur right about the tense thing. i just went with whatever sounded right but actually going through it it says had/has
    and its sounds weird with lay but u can't say layed or lied lol

    and like at the part where it says "he has dark, brown hair" he will always have dark brown hair

    but "it was a warm day" changes sometimes its cold lol

    its so confusing :/


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    JessexBroadway
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    Re: Something I Wrote

    Post  JessexBroadway on Tue May 11, 2010 3:41 am

    You should totally turn this into a fan fic Very Happy ID READ IT Very Happy


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    xxGetFreakyxx

    Number of posts : 1925
    Age : 22
    Location : Long Island, New york

    Re: Something I Wrote

    Post  xxGetFreakyxx on Tue May 11, 2010 2:58 pm

    JessexBroadway wrote:You should totally turn this into a fan fic Very Happy ID READ IT Very Happy

    ehhh i'm working on one but its not that good. i don't have the patience to write about stuff leading up to a conflict. so will we see how it goes(:


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    JMacLover09

    Number of posts : 1335
    Age : 26
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    Occupation : student
    Hobbies : music, movies, hangin' wit friends ... life =)

    Re: Something I Wrote

    Post  JMacLover09 on Wed May 12, 2010 5:58 pm

    xxGetFreakyxx wrote:
    JessexBroadway wrote:You should totally turn this into a fan fic Very Happy ID READ IT Very Happy

    ehhh i'm working on one but its not that good. i don't have the patience to write about stuff leading up to a conflict. so will we see how it goes(:

    haha i feel ya - that's where i'm at too. but i hope that since school's over soon, i'll have more time over the summer to reallly sit down and write write, instead of BS write. haha


    _________________
    21 years hoppin' in and outta clubs / What would you do in my shoes, you be livin' it up <3

    Gonna take my time and walk up on you, sexy little lady Wink

    That thing you got behind you is amazin' --
    no Jesse // that thing YOU got behind you is amazin' <3

    *Intro ** Sunshine ** Body Language*
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    xxGetFreakyxx

    Number of posts : 1925
    Age : 22
    Location : Long Island, New york

    Re: Something I Wrote

    Post  xxGetFreakyxx on Wed May 12, 2010 7:29 pm

    JMacLover09 wrote:
    xxGetFreakyxx wrote:
    JessexBroadway wrote:You should totally turn this into a fan fic Very Happy ID READ IT Very Happy

    ehhh i'm working on one but its not that good. i don't have the patience to write about stuff leading up to a conflict. so will we see how it goes(:

    haha i feel ya - that's where i'm at too. but i hope that since school's over soon, i'll have more time over the summer to reallly sit down and write write, instead of BS write. haha

    i'm up to chapter 7 or 8 and so far i guess its alright and i just finished up one of my conflicts but idk how to blend it into the rest of the story :/ its kinda frustrating


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