Something I Wrote

So I felt inspired and decided to write something. It's not exactly a fan fiction but I could turn it into one if I wanted to but for now it's just something random that I wrote and would like to share with you guys.



It was a warm, breezy day in May. A day perfect for a picnic or going to the beach. We lay on the soft, green grass and looked at the cloudless, blue sky. He has dark, brown hair that sweeps to the left and ends a little above his ocean colored eyes and his entire face lights up when he smiles. His hand fit perfectly into mine and my head lay gently on his chest and I could feel his chest move calmly as he breathed in the fresh, spring air. Everything was silent except for the soft breeze weaving through the green leaves of the trees and the voices of far away people. He looked down at me and smiled and I couldn’t help but smile back. Everything was perfect.

I let go of his hand, sat up and looked around the park. I could see little kids swinging on the monkey bars and climbing up the slides, ducks gliding in the pond and people riding their bikes on the black path. I turned around to look at him; he was looking back at me. He sat up and delicately pushed my bangs behind my ear, laced his fingers through mine and kissed me softly. He pulled away slowly, but his face was still close to mine, smiled a little bit, looked into my eyes and whispered “I love you”.

Thanks for reading it

aww this is cute i like the way you write

yeah, that was really good. but you might want to check on the present vs. past tense.
either way, it was really cute. haha =) i think something could come of this.

thanks(:

yeah ur right about the tense thing. i just went with whatever sounded right but actually going through it it says had/has
and its sounds weird with lay but u can't say layed or lied lol

and like at the part where it says "he has dark, brown hair" he will always have dark brown hair

but "it was a warm day" changes sometimes its cold lol

its so confusing :/

You should totally turn this into a fan fic ID READ IT

JessexBroadway wrote:You should totally turn this into a fan fic ID READ IT

ehhh i'm working on one but its not that good. i don't have the patience to write about stuff leading up to a conflict. so will we see how it goes(:

xxGetFreakyxx wrote:

JessexBroadway wrote:You should totally turn this into a fan fic ID READ IT

ehhh i'm working on one but its not that good. i don't have the patience to write about stuff leading up to a conflict. so will we see how it goes(:

haha i feel ya - that's where i'm at too. but i hope that since school's over soon, i'll have more time over the summer to reallly sit down and write write, instead of BS write. haha

JMacLover09 wrote:

xxGetFreakyxx wrote:

JessexBroadway wrote:You should totally turn this into a fan fic ID READ IT

ehhh i'm working on one but its not that good. i don't have the patience to write about stuff leading up to a conflict. so will we see how it goes(:

haha i feel ya - that's where i'm at too. but i hope that since school's over soon, i'll have more time over the summer to reallly sit down and write write, instead of BS write. haha

i'm up to chapter 7 or 8 and so far i guess its alright and i just finished up one of my conflicts but idk how to blend it into the rest of the story :/ its kinda frustrating