Miles To Walk

Chapter 5.

I looked at her,and she looked.. Afraid? almost. Like,she didn't know what i was thinking. I said,


"Wow. This is,really good,Amber!". She looked.. Shocked?. I smiled,


"I like it. You're really talented,you know that?". She actually,blushed and said,


"No!. I'm... I'm,not!. Your only saying that... Aren't you?". I shook my head. I said,


"I never do. Seriously,everything I've read,you're really great at writing!". She said,


"Really?". I nod. She smiles a little bit. She said,


"Um.. Th.. Thank you?".

I nodded,again. It was lunch time,so we decided to hang out in her room,and eat. I actually got to have,REAL food,for once!. Nothing,compared to what my Mother cooked or anything,but it was still better than some of the so-called 'food',here!. Amber finished eating,as did I. The Nurse walked in and said to me,


"I hate to break this up,but.. It's time for some more tests,Jesse".


I rolled my eyes and walked with her,after saying goodbye too Amber. I had to have 2 Blood tests,a CT (Cat-Scan) and,something else,done. When they finally,took me back to my room,I was exhausted!. I laid down and closed my eyes. Just as i was about too sleep,my Doctor walked in. I groaned,opening my eyes,seeing him standing there. He said,


"Oh I'm sorry,were you sleeping?". I shrugged. I said,


"Kinda.. Whatever though.. What's going?". He explained. He said,


"We're going to have too treat it,as though you,alright?". I nodded. I sighed. He said,


"Incase you actually do,and we've missed it,somehow. We'll start it tonight,okay?". I nodded. He said,


"Alright,well.. Get some rest".

As he closed the door,i closed my eyes and tried relaxing. I told myself, 'You're going to be,fine. He already said this!'. Somehow,still didn't make sh!t,any better!. Not,that i really expected it too. But,still!. I tried telling myself to relax,and sleep while I could. I finally,started to drift off into a light sleep. I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep,but when i woke up next,I saw...


[(A/N:I'm sorry,I know this is a 'VERY',cruel/mean way too end this Chapter,but promise,the next 1 is sweet!. Thanks for reading!. ENJOY and please,COMMENT!. Thanks, ).

Loved it! Post more soon!

Skysthelimit wrote:Loved it! Post more soon!

Thank you!. Thanks for reading/commenting . Working on Chapter 6 .

Btw: I have Chapter 6 written and ready,. As soon as I have 1 more comment,I'll post it .

awww good chapter. sad... Actually before a blood test you can't eat anything but thats okay its just a story... Post chapter 6 whenever you can please <3 thanks

jessecraze wrote:awww good chapter. sad... Actually before a blood test you can't eat anything but thats okay its just a story... Post chapter 6 whenever you can please <3 thanks

Um,that's not always ,true. They sometimes let you eat,before one.Depending on what they're testing for. Trust me,lol. Thanks.

As promised..




Chapter 6.

I wake up,and see..

"Amber?". She nodded. I sat up,and said,


"What's up?. Why aren't you back in your room?". She shrugged. She asked quietly,


"Mind if I um..... Sit?". I shook my head. She sat down,at the end of the bed. I asked,


"What's wrong?. Your usually all..... Cheery. What happened?". She sighed. She said,


"If only,you knew the half of it,Jesse.. Seriously". I said,


"Why don't you explain,some of it?". She shook her head,'No'. I leaned back into my Pillows. I said,


"Well.. What do you wanna do,then?". She shrugged. I said,


"You're acting like me!". She smirked. She said,


"Sorry,guess I'm just.. Thinking,alot lately". I shrugged,


"I've been doing the samething.. Wanna talk?". She shook her head. She said,standing up,


"Nah,I think I've bothered you enough,for right now. I'll let you get back too sleep. Later,Jess". She left. I tried to sleep somemore,but I couldn't. I kept thinking and wondering,what was up with Amber. At around Dinner time,they started me on a Med.

(A/N: I know,I haven't added in a 'Entry #' yet,and I didn't do it for Chapter 5,but I hopefully will,if not this Chapter,then the next,1! ).


I ate Dinner,then tried watching TV. It for a little while,until Access Hollywood came on,talking about me. They said,

'Still no word,on Jesse McCartney. Or,where he has been 'hiding out',for the last 5weeks. Could this be the 'end',for McCartney?. Stay tuned!.. And,now coming up.....'.



I rolled my eyes and shut the TV off. It was getting late,so i tried sleeping. A little bit later,I heard my door open quietly,and someone step inside. I opened my eyes,and saw Amber. Again?. I said,


"What's going on?. This is twice,now". She looked like she had been crying. I narrowed my eyes. I asked,


"Hey.. You okay?". She shook her head. I moved over,making room for her. She hesistated at first,saying,


"N..No,Jesse.. You need sleep!". I smirked,


"Just.... Lay down". She sighed,being typical Amber. She climbed into the bed,laying down. She got comfy and I asked,


"Wanna tell me,now?". She started talking. I listened. She told me,what was wrong. After she was done,she was crying so hard,she almost couldn't talk. I asked,


"Does anyone know,where you are?". She nodded,barely. I sighed,holding her. About 35minutes later,I asked,


"You wanna just.. Stay in here?". She shrugged,half out of it. I covered us both up,again and closed my eyes. Soon,I felt Amber snuggle closer to me. Soon after,we were both asleep.



(A/N:I mainly,did this Chapter to show how Jesse's attitude with Amber has changed,and how HE's,changing as well. How,he's becoming close with her. That's basically,why. Other than that,yeah. Thanks for reading and please,COMMENT!. Thank you! ).

so cute!! post more por favor?? lol

Awww very cute! Post more soon!

Skysthelimit wrote:Awww very cute! Post more soon!

Thank you!. I will,soon


And, @Opanda4 More will be up,soon. Thanks for commenting .

awwww Jesse is getting sweeter now that he knows 'what other ppl go through' good chapter. thanks for posting. more soon (=

Chapter 7.

I woke up early the nest morning,and noticed my Nurse hooking another Antibiotic bag,up. I sighed. She said,whispering,


"I see Amber found her way in here,lastnight?". I nodded. She smiled,


"So I see. Thank you,sometimes she.. Needs someone.. Has she,opened up too you,at all?". I nodded slightly. I said. I decided to get somemore sleep. The next morning,I was awake when Amber woke up. She said,sitting up,

"Oh my gosh.. I'm sorry".


"Don't worry about it.. Hey,will you um.. Do me a favor,today?Please?". She sat up fully and said,rubbing her face.


"Um.. Depends.. What is it?". I sighed,


"Come with me... To see some of the kids,here?". She looked back up at me,surprised. I guess,at the fact that I was asking her too come with. She said,


"Uh... Sure". I nodded,smiling somewhat. After Breakfast,I asked my Nurse if we could hide my I.V. She said 'Okay'. I put on a long-sleeved T-shirt and sweats and headed out with Amber,behind me. We ran into my Doctor,along the way. He looked up noticing us,and said,


"Ooh,hello! Where're you two,headed?". I said,


"Um.. To,see some of the k-kids..". He nodding,smiling. He said,


"Good,good! They're all in the Play-room. They know a 'surprise' is coming. Have a good time. Amber,take it easy.. Jesse,looks like those Meds are working!". We both nodded,Amber and I,and off we went! . We rounded a corner,and we were at the play-room. I took a deep breath,and I felt Amber squeeze my hand. I looked at her and smiled,a tiny bit. Honestly,I know I was acting like a kid,but whatever! . We went in,and the Kids just lit up! . We all talked for a bit,then they really wanted me to sing a song. I sighed and asked Amber,


"Which one?". She said,looking through her iTouch. She pulled one up and said,


"This one..". I looked at it and gulped. An old,one! . I nodded,and started singing... The kids watched. They looked.. Happy! . I started singing....


'Staring out,at the rain,with a heavy heart. It's the end of the world in my Mind.
But then your voice pulls me back,like a wake-up call. I've been looking for the answer,
somewhere,I couldn't see that it was right there,but now I know,what I didn't know..
Because You Live,and breathe,because you make me believe in myself,when nobody
else can help,Because You Live,girl,my world,has twice as many stars in the Sky..'.

I paused,taking a breath.. I looked at Amber,and she nodded,smiling. I smiled back,and went onto the second verse,


'It's alright,I survived,I'm alive again. Because of you,made it through every storm.
What is life? What's the use?If you're killing time.. Oh,I'm so glad I found an Angel,someone,
Who was there when all my hopes fell,I wanna fly looking in your eyes...
Because You live,and breathe,because you make me believe in myself,
when nobody else can help. Because You Live,girl,I live........ Because....You...Live,I...Live'.




I looked around,and they all smiled...


(A/N: Okayy,here's the chapter,finally! . Sorry it took me soo long! . I actually typed these out myself,by memory lol. So,hope you enjoy and thanks for reading and please,COMMENT! ) .

awwwww sweet. I hope Jesse is getting better! Same with Amber. (= Post more soon please!

Very sweet! Post more soon please!

Skysthelimit wrote:Very sweet! Post more soon please!

I'll try . Thank you!

Chapter 8.

'Entry #5,

Soo. Haven't written in this thing in a few weeks. Don't know why. Whatever. Anyway,
I finally,went to see some of the kids,today. Amber came with me. I kinda asked her too come along. Its odd,being here. Maybe not 'odd',but just... Different? Yeah,guess you could use that,too phrase it.

Amber's actually a pretty cool girl,I'm starting too see. I noticed,that once I stopped,
worrying about what people are thinking,and stuff,that.. Its okay. We actually get along,now. Don't get me wrong,shes still the same sarcastic girl shes always been. She does still 'put me in my place' when need be. I've kinda learned too just let her do her own thing,though. With that. Overall,shes a pretty cool girl.Once,who can really write.

I'm starting too get better,actually. The Anti-biotics are working. I don't have they initially 'thought' I had. (Thank God!) So,I'm starting too relax somewhat,here.
I kinda wanna see my mom,though. I guess shes coming either today or tomorrow.
People still don't know where I'm at,or anything. I'm sure,my family does.
Somewhat,anyway. Fan-wise,not so much. But,whatever. Love them,hopefully,if they
'love' me,they'll get it and understand. Think I'm gonna go..Later,


-J'



I put the notebook down. My doctor showed up. He suggested,before I see my mom,I write her a letter. So,I tried it.


'Mom..


What can I say? You've taught me so much,about being who I am,about being a man.
Growing up,you always supported my love for music,for wanting too tour and everything.
You sarificed 'alot' for me,and I know that. I realize that. But,how do I end up repaying you? By turning out too be.. This? Someone,who I'm not even proud of? You've always taught me,and Lea and Timmy,too be proud of ourselves and in everything we try,and do. But,I honestly can't say,I'm too proud of what I've become.
Why,I've become this way? I don't know.Can't say for sure,why. I wish I had an answer.
What I can say is,is 'I'm sorry'. For acting like a total ass,towards people. Maybe,
I don't come off that way around you guys,but I do around others. I know at times it's been tough. None of this would have been possible without you. Again,you've taught me so MUCH,and yet I basically threw all of that,out the damn window. I am grateful for,
everything you guys have given me.And,the opportunities,that have come,from you and dad and everyone else,allowing them,too. But,mostly you and dad allowed them. You could have held me back,said 'no,you're too young,you need a 'normal' life,wait a few years'. But,you didn't.And,I thank you. But,how can you can 'proud' of me,after all of this? Maybe,you are. Maybe,its all in my head.. I don't know,anymore. And,that's whats sad,to me. Anyway, you're an amazing mother,and I just want you too know,that.
You raised me,Lea and now Timmy,so well. I just hope,Timmy follows my lead,but NOT,
this way. I love you,mom. I have so much more to say,but I really don't know how too say it all. I want too,but. I guess,I just can't? I'm sorry.. I love you..



Jess'



I put the letter in an envelope and labeled it 'Mom,from Jess'. I put it on the tray next to me and waited. About an hour later,she walked in. I was sitting up in bed,I had made sure everything was hidden. Meaning,my I.V and such. She still cried,somewhat,seeing me like this. We were sitting down,when she said.



"So,how are you?" I cleared my throat and said.


"Honestly? I'm alright. Really". She half smiled. I said,


"Um.. Here,I kind of.. Wrote you something". I handed her the letter. She read it,and then really started crying! Which,I really didn't want to happen. I felt bad. I hugged her,and said.


"I'm sorry,mom". She pulled away and said,


"Jesse.. How could you think,I'm not proud of you?". I looked away,shrugging. She said.


"Look at me". I did,kind of. She said.


"Jesse. I have ALWAY'S been proud of you! No matter,what you've done! Maybe,you've gotten mixed up in things,along the way. We all,do! But,that would never make me stop being proud of you. Or,anything you've done!". I blinked back tears. I said,


"Mom.. Stop.. You're going to make me cry..Damn". She smirked and said.


"Good. That's a good thing! But,anyway. I should get going. Lea and Timmy are downstaires. Lea's watching Timmy. At least,I hope she is..". I laughed and then asked,


"How are they?". She sighed and said.


"They miss their big brother,not going too lie about that. Your sister knows more than Timmy,does. I know hes old enough to know,but.. Yeah". I sighed,nodding. I said.


"Tell them... I miss them,too?Please?". She nodded. She said,


"Sure. Maybe,I'll be able too bring them up,later on. In a few weeks,or something. I do have too go,though". I nodded,hugged her and said,


"Love you.. Bye,mom". She said the same,and left.


(A/N: Here we are! Hope U Enjoy! Also,I know that the line "I know at times it's been tough. None of this would have been possible without you." is from the Departure: Recharged booklet thing,and its or his dad.I thought it made more sense,too make it for his mom,in this chapter. Anyway,hope u enjoy and this story is almost done.Lol.Please,COMMET Thnx.)

awww kinda a sad chapter but sweet at the same time.. Bitter sweet I guess is what you could call it.. anyway it was a good one. You are doing great on this story! Post more soon please <3 thanks!

Chapter 9.


Later during the day,I walked into Amber's room and saw her sitting on her bed,reading something out of her notebook. I asked sitting down,

"Whatcha reading?" She looked up and said,


"Something I wrote. I guess. Whats up?" I frowned somewhat and asked,ignoring her question.


"Can I take a look?" She sighed a bit,and said.


"I,I don't know. Its pretty personal,Jesse." I said,somewhat 'hurt'. Which,I faked. I said.


"Don't you trust me?" She smirked and said.


"Never 'assume',Jesse. It makes an "ass" out of "U" and "me"." I rolled my eyes. I said.


"Can't you be oh,I don't know.. Serious,for once and not all sarcastic?" She looked surprised. She glaired at me and said.


"Yeah,sure. I guess." I said.


"What?" She shook her head. She said.


"You're being an ass,is all." I asked,


"How so?" She rolled her eyes saying.


"Taking it all personally,that I won't show you what I'm reading!" I stood back up,saying.


"Let me know,when you're back to being the Amber I knew." I walked out,leaving her alone.



A few hours later,Amber walked into my room and dropped something onto my while I was in the bathroom. She didn't say a word,not 'Hello' or 'Hi' or anything. And,neither did I. She simply put the notebook on the bed,and walked back out. I sat down on the bed after finishing up what I was doing. I looked at the page she had been looking at.She had actually marked it.

It was a song. I took it the wrong way,reading it the first time.. It said,



'
I'm holdin' on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground.
And I'm hearin' what you say,
But I just can't make a sound.
You tell me that you need me,
Then you go and cut me down...
But wait...
You tell me that you're sorry,
Didn't think I'd turn around...
And say...


That it's too late to apologize.
It's too late...
I said it's too late to apologize.
It's too late.
Yeah!


I'd take another chance,
Take a fall, take a shot for you.
I need you like a heart needs a beat,
But it's nothin' new.
I loved you with a fire red,
Now it's turnin' blue...
And you say...
Sorry, like an angel
Heaven let me think was you...
But I'm afraid...


It's too late to apologize.
It's too late.
I said it's too late to apologize.
It's too late.
Whoa!



It's too late to apologize.
It's too late.
I said it's too late to apologize.
It's too late.

I said it's too to apologize. YEAH!
I said it's too late to apologize. YEAH!
I'm holdin' on your rope,
got me ten feet off the ground.'



I took this the wrong way. Instead of re-reading it,and looking it over,I kind of stormed into Amber's room. I said.


"Is this about me?" She rolled her eyes and said.


"And,this is why people don't like you,much!" I glaired and said,


"Excuse me?" She said,


"You're acting like an ass,right now.. More so,than earlier! Whats your problem?!" I shook my head,calming down. I sat down and said,


"Nothing,sorry." She shook her head,saying,



"Um.. No,do not do that. Tell me." I slumped back into the chair. Looking down slightly,I said.



"I saw my mom,today." She turned to look at me. She said.


"How did that go?" I said.


"It went.. Okay,I guess.. She read a letter I wrote. Cried. Then,I don't know. It went fine." She nodded and,I hate when she does this,says.


"You missed her,though,didn't you?" I hate when she knows what I'm feeling and/or thinking! I said,


"Stop that! Damn. But,yeah I guess." She smirked and said,


"Can I show you something?" I nodded,sitting up a bit. She plucked her notebook up and tossed it at me,after getting too a certain page in it. She said,


"Not sure,why I'm doing this but whatever. Look."



'I took a chance, i took a shot
And you might think I'm bulletproof, but I'm not
You took a swing, i took it hard
And down here from the ground i see who you are

I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like I don't know you
You tell me that that you love me then cut me down
And I need you like a heartbeat
But you know you got a mean streak
Makes me run for cover when you're
And here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me why

You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day
Well I get so confused and frustrated
Forget what I'm trying to say, oh

I'm sick and tired of your reasons
I got no one to believe in
You tell me that you want me, then push me around
And I need you like a heartbeat
But you know you got a mean streak
Makes me run for cover when you're around
Here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me why

Why...do you have to make me feel small
So you can feel whole inside
Why...do you have to put down my dreams
So you're the only thing on my mind

I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like i don't know you
You tell me that you love me then cut me down
I'm sick and tired of your reasons
I've got no one to believe in
You ask me for my love, the you push me around
Here's to you and your temper
Yes, I remember what you said last night
And I know that you see what you're doing to me
Tell me why
Why, tell me why

I take a step back, let you go
I told you I wasn't bulletproof
Now you know'




I sat there,in shock,after reading the lyrics. She said,


"Don't.. Ask,please." I shrugged and said.


"They're really good." She nodded,


"Thank you.."


(A/N: The 1st song is 'Apologize' - OneRepublic and the 2nd song is 'Tell Me Why' - Taylor Swift. Hope You Enjoy. Please,COMMENT Thnx.)

very good chapter. can't wait for more <3

Chapter 10.
(A/N: In the song [You'll see at the end where the song is] I probably got some of the lyrics wrong. It's a song I've used before in this story. Called 'If No One Will Listen' - Kelly Clarkson.)


The next two weeks were,needless to say,oddly weird,for me. One day,my doctor walked into my room and said.


"Jesse,I have something to tell you; which I'm sure you're going to love to hear!" I sat up a bit and nodded. He said,


"You're cleared,of everything. You can go home,now!" I satup straight,thinking he was joking,or something. When I realized he wasn't,I said slowly.


"Go.. Home?" He nodded. This shocked me. I sighed,and he explained everything. He said.


"Yes. What we thought,was Cancer,turned out to just be effects from too much partying; which you might want to consider taking a break,from. The complications you were experiencing those few weeks before you came to see me,were from over-doing it. With partying,and such. But,the official results came in a few hours ago,and you're officially cleared. You may go home,now."



This was honestly,a shock for me. He walked out,saying he'd be back a bit later,with sign-out forms. I bit my lip slightly,wondering; a million thoughts running through my head. I got up and headed for Amber's room. I found her on her bed,as usual. She looked up and smiled. I gave a small smile back and sat down on one of the chairs. She gave it a few minutes,then surprised me,by saying.



"Soo. I guess,congratulations are in order. You're going home!" I sat up somewhat,taken aback,slightly. I said.


"Um. Yeah,I guess.." She cocked her head somewhat and said.


"You don't seem too enthused,Jesse." I shrugged. I said,


"I'm just not sure,if I wanna go home. Not sure,if I'm ready. Well,I know I'm 'ready',but not sure if I'm ready to face everything,again.." She said.


"As in?" I sighed and said back.


"Everything.. Meaning,the Media; fans; work; my family.." She nodded,like she undestood. Well,maybe she did. She said,leaning forward.


"I understand,you're scared. But,Jesse,you're one of the lucky ones. You get to go 'home'. Some of us,okay scratch that.. Most of us,aren't that lucky..." I looked at her,curiously. I said,leaning forward also.


"Yeah. Hey,you never told me,what YOUR story,was. Or,is." She smirked and said.


"You haven't,either. Guess we're even!" I rolled my eyes and said.


"C'mon,tell me. Then,I'll tell you mine?" She nodded and said.


"K,deal I guess.." She started her story,to me. When she was finished,I just sat there,shocked and partially amazed. Amazed,at how she'd dealt with this all of her life. She noticed my facial expression and said.


"Please.. Do NOT feel BAD,for me." I shook my head and said.


"I.. I'm not,really." She made an 'O' face and nodded. She said.


"Well,its your turn! Spill." I smirked and finally,told her.


"They thought,I had.. Cancer.." Her eyes widened and she put her hand to her mouth. I shook my head and said,


"Keyword: 'Thought'. I don't,thank God! But,it was from too much partying and all that crap. It kinda opened my eyes,in a way. That,what I've been doing,smoking inparticular,could lead to actual Cancer. Not too sure,if I could handle that..." She nodded.



There was a silence for a few minutes,then I blurted out.


"You're soo damn strong.." She looked at me and said.


"Um.. What? No,I'm not!" I nodded and said.


"Stronger than I am.. I've been a baby through all of this,and you've been at this longer than I have.. God,and I thought MY thing was big..." She frowned and said.


"People tell me I'm strong,yet I don't see it." I said.


"Well,you are." She shrugged. She said.


"It's kind of all I know. It's all I've known,my whole life. It's almost.. Natural,or something to me.. I don't think twice about the **** I go through." I nodded. I said.



"Well,you're strong." She said.



"Thanks.." I nodded; we hung out a bit more,since it was probably my last day,and then I headed off back to my room,to do somethings. I started packing and checked my phone. 2 missed calls. 1,missed call from my mom,the other from my sister. 1 missed text from Jake,and another mixed text from Drew. Then,nothing. I shook my head,laughing slightly. Guess I knew,who really cares about me,now! I finished packing some,then sat down on the edge of the bed. Everything,over the past few weeks,was going through my mind. My doctor walked in and I said,


"Hey.. Would it be possible to talk to you,about something real quick?" He nodded. After I was finished,he nodded and said.


"Of course. I think that's actually a very good idea. I'll get the papers ready. Ooh,Amber wants to see you in the playroom in about a half hour." I nodded and finished packing my stuff.



I went down to the playroom,and saw her sitting where I'd sat when I had sung 'Because You Live'. I narrowed my eyes and she motioned me to sit down. So I did. She started singing.

She said.


"This is called 'If No one Will Listen'." She started the opening the lines,and I immediatly recognized the lyrics.



"If no one will listen,when you decide to speak.. If no one is left standing,after the bombs explode.." She went on and sang,and when she finished,she looked at me. I smiled,for once a real smile. She got down from the thing and walked over to me. She said.


"I think,you know who that was about.." I nodded. She pointed behind me and I looked. My eyes went wide. I said.


"L..Lea?!" My sister. She nodded,and I hugged her tightly. I said,


"God,I haven't seen you in forever!" She nodded and said,


"Same here.." I released her from my death grip and smiled,happy to see her. She said,


"You ready to go?" I looked at Amber,and said.


"Actually.I've got an 'anouncment',to make.." They both looked at me and I took a deep breath and said.


"When I get home,I'm.... Checking myself into...... Rehab.sort of. For too much partying and stuff like that.." Amber looked at me,like she didn't or couldn't believe it. She said.


"Really..?!" I nodded. She hugged me tight. Lea said,


"Wow... That's.. Great!" I nodded,and Amber let go of me. Lea and Amber walked me back to my room to get my stuff,then I was outta here! I took one last look at the room,and sighed.




A few hours later,I was home again.. For real! Felt.. Weird,but definitely nice! My mom said she would stay with me,tonight. To make sure I was alright. I agreed to let her. I got ready for bed that night,getting into my 'own' bed and covered up. I grabbed the notebook Amber had given me at the beginning of all of this,and started writing..



'Entry #6,

Wow.. I made it through,what.. 9weeks?! I'm finally home.. I didn't have Cancer,like they'd initially thought I did. Just crap from too much partying and **** like that. I can honestly say,I've learned a lot,over the past 9weeks. I've learned,how to survive without the partying,the Hollywood image ****,I've learned who REALLY,cares about me,and who's just after my image and/or money. I also,told Amber I'd come visit her,as often as she wanted me,to. She really is,a 'true friend'. She put up with my **** in the very beginning and everything. My mom's staying with me,tonight. Which,I can't say I mind,much. I've missed her,everyone. Oh,I'm also,checking myself into a sort of 'rehab',place. Because,I gotta learn I can deal with **** on my own,and not take it out,(All of the stress/drama) with partying,drinking,smoking,etc. So,yeah. I'll be beginning that,in like a week or something. Not too sure,if I'll be going back to recording,anytime soon. Not sure,if I could 'handle' the pressure from people,right now. I'm sure I could,but I'm giving it a few weeks,or however long,it takes. Well,I'm gonna end this and get some sleep.. At home!


-J'





(6months later..



Access Hollywod:



'Singer/actor/songwriter, Jesse McCartney,is out and about,after his single has been out for about two months.. Here he is..


"Yeah,its been great.."




'The single,which has been named 'Tryin',is a hit. Here's what Jesse has to say about it..





"Well,the title fits into what the song,is about. Which is basically,and do not take this the way or anything,but just about me,needing space,when the pressure starts to choke me,people,everyone just needs to stand back,and like one of the lyrics says,stand back and let me breathe. The song was actually,inspired by someone,not gonna name 'em,but they know who they are.. But yeah,I can't wait for whats to come!"





'Well,there you have it.. And,Jesse has agreed to sing Tryin for us!'



'I really wanna be the best I can,but I'm always fighting.. It's like I always gotta prove myself Sometimes I wish I was somebody else. Now I don't wanna sound like I'm complaining,this is everything I asked for. But I get tired of everyones expectations and I wanna be left alone. Driving through these redlights like nobody can see me,someone screaming self-destruction but I can't even hear them. They wanna hold my hand,but they gotta see,they gotta see I'm tryin' to do the best that I possibly can. Even when I fall down,I gotta be,I gotta be,I gotta be the first one to turn it around.. I'm tryin' tryin'.. I'mma keep tryin'. Everybody always got an opinion,somebody always got something to say. I'm getting pulled in a million directions,sometimes you gotta find your lane. I know you're tryin to stand in my corner,I know you only want whats best for me. But,when the pressure starts to choke me,you gotta stand back and let me breathe. Racing through these redlights like nobody can see me. Lights and sirens trying to stop me but I can't even hear 'em..'



There you have....Tryin!'.)



(A/N Well,sadly this is the ending to 'Miles To Walk' :-( I had A LOT of fun,writing this one! Thanks for reading/commening! Means sooo much! So,thank you!! I really hope,you've enjoyed this one as much as I have! :-) The song is of course,Tryin,by Jesse! :-) Please,comment one last time!! :-) Later..)

nice very interesting

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i loved it

Glad you both enjoyed it! Thanks for reading.